Pool advice for Martha Stewart

So the other day, my phone rings and it's Martha. I said, "What's up, Martha Stewart?" After watching Friday Night Lights, I've taken to calling everyone I know by their first AND last names.

She starts going on about swimming pools and tiling and I'm tuning her out because I think she starts these conversations just to hear herself talk.

I mean, we all know she doesn't actually know HOW to do half of the things she claims to know because NO ONE can know all of that stuff and who would want to? But it just so happens that I built a pool this summer and documented some of it.

She was all, "I'm just not sure if I want to go French Chateau or Greco Roman Bath House for the theme of my pool. And then there's the question of grotto or no grotto."

And I was all, "Who cares, Martha Stewart? Don't you live in Massachusetts or something where it's cold most of the time and you can only use this thing for, like, eight weeks out of the year? And you can't have a grotto because Hugh Hefner has a grotto in his pool and then you'd just look like a poser."

She got all defensive and goes, "I plan to use a radiant heating system in my pool for your information and my grotto would be different than Hugh's in that I would have SCONCES in my grotto."

So, just to show her up, I'm including pictures of me tiling my pool this past spring. Here I am installing the tile. I chose a lovely blue ceramic to transition nicely into the water.

I was careful to tile around the filter to keep the unsightly equipment camouflaged. I feel that last statement can be applied to many different things in life.

I also put some travertine tiles as a decking around my pool. I wanted something cool on the feet, but rustic looking as well. Note the herringbone pattern.

I think my pool turned out beautifully and my whole family is always going on and on about how talented of a pool builder I am and my children are very thankful every day.

And here I am enjoying a float. I decided to go blonde for the summer, but am relieved to report I didn't necessarily have more fun. So, I'm back to brunette.